Introspect
by XIIIAnonymous
Summary: No one likes to be alone. MelloxNear. Character death.


It was cold, much too cold out that night, but Near barely felt it, just as he barely felt the natural prickle of apprehension one is grasped with as they stand at the very edge of a tall bridge, such as the one he stood on now.

He closed his eyes and let out a sigh. One more step...

"Hey."

Near had heard of people going insane through lack of social interaction, but never pinned himself as one to do so. It figured- just as he was about to end this, Mello's voice came out of nowhere. Did mentally ill people usually hear dead people speaking?

"Bastard, I'm talking to you! Jeez..." A rough hand gripped Near's shoulder, spinning him around. The white-haired man quickly averted his eyes, trying not to see what was in front of him, but not before catching a glimpse of blonde hair in the darkness. "Why aren't you looking at me?"

Staring at the ground, Near spoke softly, "I must be truly out of my mind..."

"You're not," Mello scoffed disdainfully, "out of your mind. In fact, you're probably the most in your mind person on the planet. Now, tell me just what the hell you think you're doing here. Because it's obviously something stupid."

"I was going to jump," Near said in reply, deciding that if he was going to kill himself anyways there wasn't any point in pretending he was sane.

The blonde in front of him bristled in fury. "You're fucking going to kill yourself?" When Near only gave an apathetic nod, a hand shot out to grip his collar. "Listen, bastard, I died so that you wouldn't have to. Don't just throw it away like this! What, you depressed about something?"

"I am bored."

"Bored," repeated Mello incredulously, hold slackening just in the slightest. "You're just...bored."

"Yes."

"So this is just a whim."

"Wrong. I simply have no challenge in my life."

Silent for a second, Mello sighed. "If you're the type of person that would just commit suicide like this, then I should have let you die then."

"I have thought about ending my life since the day after the Kira case ended, four years ago. This is not a whim." He received no reply. "It has been around 636 days since a human last spoke to me willingly. It was Gevanni, coming to tell me that he was resigning."

"…Isn't anyone trying to find you?" Mello asked quietly, looking away and finally releasing Near's shirt.

Near shook his head. "I have one question, even if the answer will only be what I want to hear."

"Why would I lie to you just to make you feel better?"

"Well, this Mello is only a figment of my imagination, after all."

"Hah," The taller male snorted.

"What is it?"

"If Shinigami can exist, why not ghosts?"

Near pondered this, then smirked to himself. "I suppose. My question is: will Mello, Matt...and L be waiting for me after I am deceased?" He stopped looking at Mello's face then, choosing instead to stare at the sidewalk and twirl a lock of hair around his finger.

_All humans, _Mello realized then, _have the same basic need for a sense of belonging. Of feeling wanted._

His rival was no different.

"We'll be there."

"...I see. Thank you."

"...It's raining." Said Mello, and it was. Near shivered almost unnoticeably as his clothes slowly absorbed the icy water.

"This is almost cliché," he remarked, moving to stand at the edge of the bridge again. The rain seemed to agree as it poured down harder.

"I don't think you ever let me truly know you," Mello murmured, wishing Near weren't so calm about his imminent death. "But I'm with you."

His words didn't earn a reply, only a stare off into the distance, and the blonde instantly regretted being so sentimental. But nothing mattered much at this point.

"I wonder if it'll hurt," Near mused to himself as he watched the dark water miles below him.

"...I'm curious, why'd you pick this bridge?"

The shorter man let his toes hang off the beam of said bridge. "It would be less messy than if I used, say, a knife or a gun." The corners of his lips twisted into a small leer.

"Hm."

"Besides, I never did like red on white."

He took a step forward.

:::::

Erm, so yeah. Was meant to be uber angsty, but turned out…I don't even know. 8D'' –is not good at writing angst-

Hope you enjoyed~. This was inspired by I'm With You by Avril Lavigne, by the way. xD


End file.
